The Book

The Diary of Divorce

My first novel, ‘The Diary of a Divorce’ was written on the back of experiencing my parents’ divorce (in the throes of which, we children were seemingly forgotten, or at best used as weapons).

As an adult I have listened to many and varied divorce stories, extracted the universal themes (there are lots) and written a novel. I wanted to write a story that would reinforce the fact that you are not alone, no matter how singular your situation might seem. There are people everywhere enduring the same-but different- trials.

Also, to encourage you to avoid becoming so consumed by the process of divorce, that you leave the heart of the matter, (that would be your children- if you are lucky enough to have them- or simply moving on, if you don’t), behind.

One mother I know once said to her five years old son, “I feel so lonely I just need to talk to a friend.”

The little boy smiled up at her and said, “I am your friend mummy, you can talk to me.”

She woke up.

Someone else commented that she was so fixated on separating from the man she was married that it simply had not occurred to her she might find someone else and create a new life. She described her heart fluttering with excitement when a girlfriend mooted the possibility. Good to have a positive goal: rather than only fleeing the beast you are-more importantly- moving towards something unknown, which is terrifying but also exciting.

In every end there is a beginning. Don’t let the rage of your past blind you to the possibilities of a future. Don't be defined by your divorce. It is a painful process but it will end, think about that!

Sporting a sort of Virginia Wolfish mode!

Never give up

I want my novel to encourage you to, ‘Never give up!’ and know that there is much to look to once you have succeeded in extracting yourself (and children) from an unhappy marriage; The Divorce will end and you will move on. No one should be defined by divorce. The possibilities your divorce creates and what you make of them define your future.

NB. On a practical note I would encourage every woman I know, no matter how happily married or otherwise, to freeze her eggs if she possibly can. There is nothing to lose and, ‘You never know!’ Your chosen Prince (or career) may not be your ultimate destiny. Mature mummies abound now and if you find real love a second time around the possibility of completing your happiness with a family should not be lost if you can avoid it. Options don’t have to be taken up but they are nice to have. Life is full of surprises.

'You never know!'

Reviews

The Diary of a Divorce

Andrew Roberts. Author (Churchill: Walking with Destiny 2018)

'The Diary of a Divorce is a cleverly crafted and compelling account of one of the most disturbing experiences in modern life…'

Quotes

Picasso:

‘We all know that Art is not Truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.’

Cecily:

‘Time to leave before blue becomes the only hue…’

‘…I should have stuck it out and negated myself…’

‘I was watching her like a hawk in the rear view mirror.’

Colette:

‘When my parents divorced there was a lot of standing around on doorsteps…’

‘I was an angry girl, but I was a child and not to blame.’

‘I raged on. I wanted her to rage back, not look so bloody sad.’

‘You leave something long enough, the damage is absorbed into the general landscape…’

‘I was so sick of feelings, I had pretty much decided not to have them anymore.’

‘I felt disloyal eating another woman’s food.’

‘…I like to think of the future: it is the sweetness to come once you have eaten your greens.’

‘You have to leave your past behind you though.’

‘I had a lot of greens as a child.’

‘How to paint in England? Shades of grey presumably.’